


No Man Left Behind

by Maiokoe



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Past Suicide Attempts, Major character death - Freeform, References to Depression, Suicide, it's not explicit but it's there, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 05:31:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9642713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maiokoe/pseuds/Maiokoe
Summary: They didn't see it coming.Wasn't that how it always went? They seemed perfectly normal, everything was fine.Until it wasn't.





	

It was a mission.

He couldn’t remember why now, but they had been looking for something. A plant? A rock? He’s not sure, doesn’t care now, but they’d landed and split up.

That was their first mistake.

The second was not going in pairs, like usual. ‘It’s a peaceful planet,’ Allura had stated (Hunk would contest that statement: he’d been to a “peaceful planet” once before) but it had panned out that the section they landed in seemed deserted—forests covered the land, trees reminisce of oaks and pines back on Earth. The dull blue of the not-pines might’ve been odd to them before, but aside from the initial surprise, it didn’t much matter.

And because of that serene forest and actually-peaceful-planet, they’d each went in separate directions, looking for whatever it was they were looking for.

He’d set off directly north, moving through the blue forest until he hit a plain. A nice, wide open space, bushes and wildflowers and some little trees. Such a nice little meadow.

Hunk and Pidge were talking in his ear, cheerful chatter about something that went way over his head, but they continued for a time before Keith cut in during a brief lull. “ _So I hit the mountains._ ”

“ _Keith, you’ve gone too far. Those high altitudes aren’t a good environment for the Yleeth_ —“ oh, so it was a plant “ _—they grow in watery environments.”_

_“Oh, so this lake is a good bet?”_ Pidge cut in.

“ _Yes! Exactly! Alright, Pidge, I have your coordinates. Coran and I have managed to create an accurate map of the terrain. Hunk, you’re closest to Pidge—join up with her. Keith, what you need to do is turn around and join up with Shiro. Shiro, ahead of you, there’s a meadow. Past the other side of the trees there should be what looks like a small pond. Lance, it doesn’t seem like there’s anything in your direction. You could join with either of them—you just happen to be right between both of them. Do you have any preference?”_

_“Me? Nah, not really. Whatever you think is best.”_ He remembers being a little surprised that he was waiting for a direction instead of immediately proclaiming which group he’d rather join. But then he remembers being proud, that he had matured since they met all those months ago.

“ _Well, in that case, let’s see… Why don’t you join with Pidge and Hunk? It seems their lake is quite large. It’d make the search go faster.”_

_“Sure thing. Be right over.”_

_“Great! Paladins, best of luck!”_ And then chatter resumed as Keith turned around and Hunk joined up with Pidge.

“ _Hey, Shiro?”_

“Yes? What is it, Lance?”

“ _Could I talk to you for a tick? Privately?”_ He remembers being confused, brows furrowing and head tilting as if Lance was right there with him and he could frown at the teen.

“Sure? Hold on, switch over to com three.” He had switched over then, everything silent until he heard breathing. “Lance? You there?”

“ _Yeah. Yeah I’m on.”_

_“_ What’s up? Is everything okay? You’re feeling alright, aren’t you?” And he remembers that silence, odd for the Blue Paladin and just Lance in general, but he hadn’t thought much of it at the time. He waited, hoping the boy could gather his thoughts without incessant prompting. Shiro could wait, give him the time.

“ _I… I’m sorry.”_

“Lance? Sorry for what? What happened?”

“ _I’m sorry, Shiro. For everything.”_

“Everything? What do you mean, ‘everything’? Lance? Lance, what’s wrong? Talk to me, Lance, tell me what’s happening. Lance?” He paused, waiting to hear what the other would respond with, what he was apparently panicking about. But there was nothing and his brow furrowed once again. “Lance? Lance, are you there?”  

And he waited for a response, for a noise, for something to say the boy was still there, just taking his time to respond. He thinks now he waited too long.

“Allura, give me Lance’s coordinates,” he switched back to the main line, barking out his orders.

“ _S-sure, give me a tick. Has something happened?”_

“I don’t know, he’s not responding. He just—apologized? Then disappeared on me.”

“ _Well that doesn’t sound like Lance,”_ had been Keith’s ever helpful quip.

“ _Well, sometimes he overthinks and it takes a while and then he has a huuuge round of apologies. Actually, it’s been awhile since the last one, I was kinda wondering when it’d happen,”_ Hunk had mentioned, not seemingly concerned. “ _Give him a little time. He bounces back pretty quick.”_

But he hadn’t, he’d insisted on the coordinates and then began his march. It wasn’t too far and with the pace he set, he’d gotten there in little over twenty minutes, breathing deep, but eyes alert and scanning the grassy hills and rocky cliffs. “Lance?” He raised his voice, trying to keep it level and not letting either anger or his concern seep through. “Lance, you here?” A moment spent listening, then he scowled. “Allura, are you sure he’s here?”

“ _Of-course! Our scanners show he’s right in front of you!”_

_“_ Well, he’s not here! I don’t see anythi—ho-hold up,” he had paused then, eyes narrowing as he stepped forwardly cautiously.

“ _Shiro? Have you found him?”_

“Just—just hold on.” He started forward them, watching as the bit of white grew from a formless blob into the familiar helmet. “I found his helmet.”

“ _Well, that would explain why our scanners say he’s right in front of you,”_ Coran muttered over the com. “ _And you’re **sure** you don’t see him?”_

“No, he’s not around here. It’s just—his helmet and his bayard?”

_“Now why would he just leave those lying around? How puzzling…”_ he had let Coran’s mumbles shift into the background as both he and Allura set about doing a scan of the area—heat or something. Hunk and Pidge spoke back and forth, Hunk relaying previous “meltdowns” Lance had in middle and high school, snorting when he remembered a particularly fun time when Lance dramatically sobbed to his mother about it really being him who broke the lamp and not the dog, then turning around and apologizing profusely to the dog who spent the night outside.

And he, on a hunch he hoped to god at the time was wrong for once, swallowed, inching towards the overhang.

Then looked down.

* * *

 He remembered the trip back to Earth.

Remembered was a strong word. He remembered _feeling_ the trip back to Earth.

He remembered expressing concern for moving the ship into the atmosphere, knowing it would draw a lot of unwanted attention and both Allura and Coran accepted his reasoning, settling down on the moon and he let it go, knowing they’d probably be spotted sooner rather than later. It was better than actually landing on the planet. Who would go had been a struggle and a half.

Hunk insisted, since he had known Lance the longest and knew the family.

Pidge wanted to go because they were all family now and she wanted to be there for the service.

Keith put up the weak excuse of the two being rivals—which Pidge jabbed at his ribs and told him to just drop the act and say they were friends.

Coran felt a kinship with the boy he spent much time with, the two bonding over their shared homesickness and easy-going friendship.

Allura insisted because she felt responsible and as leader, she _would_ be going.

He remembered stating he thought they were all going and he remembered the incredulous looks before Pidge quietly mentioned she thought only a few of them would be allowed to go.

As if he would tell them they couldn’t go. As if he could be that cold.

It was the whole “getting a space ship into Earth’s atmosphere without being spotted and shot down/ apprehended on sight” thing that he paused at.

Pidge stated she’d fix it, so he let that go too, leaving the bridge to return the front hall, where the encased pod sat and where Shiro kept watch despite the lack of threats and sobbed long into the night.

He didn’t get much sleep, but the wormhole and jump didn’t take very long, so it didn’t matter much anyway.

* * *

 

Returning to Earth felt odd. He pushed the feeling away, to replace it with the familiar numbing coldness he’d become accustomed to. Hunk quietly relayed coordinates and they all, squeezed into the landing ship, the pod taking up much of the space, were silent.

Coran flew, Allura seated next to him, and Pidge and Hunk directly behind them, Hunk loudly blowing his nose and Pidge swiping at her eyes. Keith was next to him, staring blankly at the opposing wall and he…

He couldn’t bring himself to look away from the pod, the crystal-clear glass giving him the perfect view of the still form within, his face mercifully blocked by a portion of the darker steel that made the body of the case.

* * *

He expected the swearing. He expected the shrieking, the sobbing. He expected Lance’s older brothers—such a big family—to grab him by the collar, lift him up and rage at him.

He didn’t expect the grandmother.

She was a small woman, with stereotypical white hair and round glasses.

While her family sobbed behind her, thrown over the pod Allura had brought their son, their brother, home in, she took his hands, looking up at him with such sadness.

Then, a smile. And his façade cracked, shoulders trembling, breath catching. “I-I tried—to stop him, but I was—I was too late,” a sharp breath in, jerking his head down in apology, in his shame. She patted his hands slowly and he was certain that made it worse. That this woman who just lost her grandson was comforting _him_ instead of the rest of her family.

“Words cannot convey my sadness,” Allura murmured, head bowed and hands clasped, dressed in a flowing, deep navy dress, matching Coran’s dark suit—Altea’s typical mourning attire. “I failed in my duty as both a leader and a friend,” she whispered, Coran’s arm tight around her, mustache wobbling as they watched the family mourn their son.

The eldest daughter hissed something in Spanish, the second eldest son rebuking her sharply, tears streaming down both their cheeks.

“Lance is…” she paused, blinking slowly, lips pressed together, before she sighed. “We’ve always worried about him,” she murmured. Lance’s mother’s sobs rose in pitch. “How did he…” The wails cut off abruptly, the woman clapping her hands over her mouth, looking at them in betrayal.

Shiro managed a watery smile, tears blurring his own vision. His voice was low and hoarse, choked with guilt: “He jumped.”  

Pidge curled into Hunk’s side, the Yellow Paladin wrapping an arm securely around her, jaw set and tense despite the tears making trails down his cheeks, dripping and spotting his shirt.

“This was not the first time he—“

“Mother!” Lance’s mother cut in sharply, voice a hiss and eyes enraged. “Mother, this is not—they took my baby, they took him and look at what they did to him!” Shiro gazed at her, form straight from his training, but his expression anything but locked.

“Maria,” the woman still holding his hands spoke softly, but Lance’s mother reacted as if she had been slapped. “This was not the first time he tried. We knew Lance was troubled, we knew he would push himself deeper and deeper until he could not breathe. We knew. I hoped being with his friends, out on an adventure, would help. We knew this would happen eventually.”

“Not if we got him help! Not if we didn’t send him to that damned school!” Maria sobbed, form drooping to lean over the pod once more, fingers tracing over her son’s features through the glass. “Not if we kept—kept him here,” she hiccupped, tears staining the glass beneath her chin. Her husband laid a heavy hand on her shoulder, stoic but blue eyes muddled with tears. She dropped onto the glass, sobs returning, wracking her form.

The grandfather, an elder who was held up by a simple walking stick, waddled forward, standing behind her. “Lance wanted to go, so we sent him. Lance was happy, happy to do what he loved. Lance wanted to be a pilot, so we sent him,” was his low response.

The grandmother smiled sadly up at Shiro. “Do not blame yourself. You are not at fault for his mind.”

But Shiro had no one else to blame. He was supposed to be the leader, to watch out for those under his commander. He should have known something was up sooner, should have realized Lance was off. He should have been suspicious the moment Lance said he wanted to talk in private. He should’ve moved faster, should’ve realized what was happening sooner.

In war, they say no man left behind.

But they also say you can’t save them all.  

**Author's Note:**

> Welp. So this happened.


End file.
